Chapter 7: Back to Georgia

Hi there.

Remember me?

I know its been a while and I’m sorry about that.

But I’m back… in black… and better than ever!

Seriously though, a lot has changed since my last post. I’d love to share with you, if you’ll have me back that is.

The last time we spoke I was making jam in Asheville and it was summertime. Asheville sure was fun and it was a necessary change, a much needed adventure, but I began to feel stagnant by mid summer. The mountains can make you feel infinite at times, like they charge you with their immense power, but other times they can make you feel trapped and claustrophobic. After spending so much time in Connecticut away from my family in Georgia it seemed silly to move to a city in North Carolina where I didn’t know anyone… so close to my home in Georgia, yet so ¬†isolated in my mountain town. I suppose the real issue was I needed to reconnect with my roots.

Move #7: Back to Georgia

In August I high tailed it back to Alpharetta, Georgia, the town I did most of my growing up in and also a place I only visited a handful of times in the past six years.

Life works in mysterious ways. This year began with a feeling; a feeling I needed to change my life, a feeling I needed to move, a feeling much like growing pains. I decided to follow my gut and I moved. I created a life that was truly and completely mine up in Connecticut, independent of my family and friends down south. I left all of that behind because something was telling me it was time to move on. The new path I fell onto was rough and I got hurt badly this past year but I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. I learned things in Asheville that I needed to learn. One of them being say goodbye when you feel it’s time to.

I had no idea why I felt the need to return to GA, but the feeling was so strong I could not turn away.

Almost one month after moving back I met the love of my life. Malcolm and I knew we were in love right away and it is like nothing I’ve experienced before. At the same time it is the most natural and instinctual relationship or even part of my life to date.

This year I learned to listen to my instinct and trust my intuition. It sounds cheesy but guess who doesn’t care? This girl. You know what you need even if you don’t know you know it. I finally feel like I’m the person I’ve always wanted to be. I love myself, I love the world, I see beauty all around. I love the hurt and sadness that brought me here. It was worth every second. I am in love.

When you know, you know.

abiandmal

 

 

Social Media Abuse

Hello, lovely.

I decided to conducted a little test/experiment on myself and took a social media hiatus. But now I’m back, in black and better than ever! Seriously though, the break did me well. For once I wasn’t checking facebook while cuddled up in bed about to go to sleep, no logging into my email as soon as my alarm went off in the morning, I didn’t pine over lovely mermaid hair on pinterest while eating lunch. In short, I realized social media can be a serious addiction, one we don’t even realize the scope of until it’s gone.

The first couple days were a little rough, I was definitely restless and felt a lack of connection. I wondered what people were up to, but mainly I wanted them to know what I was up to. That’s when it hit me: social media isn’t so much about being connected as it is about showing off. I mean, a little bit, right? Not entirely, not all the time, but a lot of the time it is. I wanted to post pictures of my outfit, where I went hiking, a pretty sunset, my adorable niece and I wondered about my friends less and less.

After the first week of my experiment, I didn’t even miss social media. It was easy to get through the day after a solid week of avoiding temptation, and I was amazed to find my iPhone still had about 70% battery life at the end of the day. WOW! After that second week I noticed I had better concentration and I was sleeping better at night (can I get a hell yeah?!).

Now I’m connected again, which has brought a whole new lesson: I realized social media itself is not bad but that I had been abusing it. I recently had a very emotional day where I was questioning every decision I’ve made in recent months. I went on facebook and made a post about it and I was overwhelmed by the response from my friends. My silly status update brought so much support and love from friends near and far, I sat at my laptop and cried tears of joy at all the positive messages popping up before my eyes. This is what it’s about people!

Social media is fun, it’s supposed to be fun, you are supposed to post pictures from your awesome vacation to Hawaii (and it’s even alright if you sort of hope your friends are jealous), but it is also a support network at times. When someone is feeling down, a simple emoji can express their feelings of hopelessness and can illicit a powerful response from friends and family. So I am vowing to stop over doing it on facebook and instagram (my two favs!) I will pay more attention to my friends posts and not just concern myself with my own.

It’s a gift really, this magical portal that can connect me to my friends who are far away.

#lessonlearned